Sunday, April 14, 2013

Step 8: Seeking Forgiveness - Don't forget to forgive yourself

In Step 7 I humbled myself and allowed God to teach me things I needed to learn to move forward.  Now it is time to seek forgiveness.  So who do I need to seek forgiveness from?  My addiction never caused me to commit crimes, or engage in abusive behavior.  My family has been hurt somewhat perhaps, but my children are happy and provided for, and my husband never had a problem with a messy house like I did.  Ultimately I am the one I need to seek forgiveness from.  It is now time to extend to myself the Charity I so readily extend to everyone else.

"Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven" (Luke 6:37).  This applies just as much to our dealings with ourselves as it does our dealings with others.  ". . . of you it is required to forgive all men" (D&C 64:10).  By forgiving ourselves we allow the Atonement to have force in our lives to heal us and prepare us to return to God again.  By not forgiving ourselves we are denying the Atonement saying that it was not good enough for us.  Christ loves us so much He did it for each of us.

Likely I would have more to say about this step if this were a different type of addiction and my addiction had hurt friends and family members for a long time, but the truth is there aren't many people hurt by it.  The biggest trial is learning and realizing that this character flaw will take time to overcome as I continue to pray and ask God to remove my weaknesses.  He has not removed them over night just because I humbled myself in Step 7.  It will take time and a continued effort to become the kind of productive person I want to be.  As my children get older and I stop getting pregnant it will likely help too, but I shouldn't just sit around waiting for that time to come.  For now, I feel at peace.  I accept the Atonement, and the forgiveness of God and allow it to soften my heart so I can forgive myself and continue moving forward.

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