It's been a while since I've had a chance to post, and I was wondering what to write this next post about. I really don't think my life or thoughts are exciting enough to write much about. I am now 21 weeks pregnant and still nursing my baby who is now 14 months old. I don't think he gets much from nursing except the emotional bonding with his mommy. Mostly he just nurses to go to sleep and then to go back to sleep when he wakes up in the night. I feel he needs it and don't have the heart to wean him before he is ready.
So what does this have to do with anything? Well, I don't know how many of you out there have tried this but as if being pregnant wasn't exhausting enough, not getting to sleep through the night while pregnant is even more so. I have all these well intentioned goals, but when it comes down to it I'm just not motivated enough to override how tired I am. Does this mean I'm falling back into my addiction? This is part of what's so hard about this particular addiction. I can't tell for sure if I really need to take it easy for a while, or if I'm just making excuses for myself. Laundry has piled up yet again, and while I've been doing much better at tidying up the living room and vacuuming, I have not been reading books with the children and helping my daughter write her name and things the preschool wants me to do as "homework". I also have not been fitting in my exercise. I was doing it during the kids nap time, but now I nap then too. Last night my baby was waking up every 1-2 hours. I think today will likely be a disaster as far as achieving my goals goes. I so can't wait till my son is done teething!
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Friday, January 11, 2013
A full week of productive living
After having my goals displayed on my refrigerator for a week and a half now, I've been able to notice a huge difference in my house and in my children.
In my house I've finally gotten laundry under control to the point that it is no longer a source of stress, and neither are the dishes. Imagine that! When I'm not wasting time on meaningless things I can get the regular chores done each day with ease. And I've even tackled some major projects that have intimidated me and I'd been putting off. I reorganized my daughter's closet. I scrubbed the Kitchen floor. My living room is mostly clean on a regular basis, so tidying and vacuuming are no longer intimidating chores either. I've found I am so much happier when at least one major room is clean every day.
Being able to spend more time with my children has also payed off. My daughter is slowly becoming better behaved, and bed time has become much easier. I've started having her say, "Yes, Ma'am" whenever I ask her to do something, and remarkably enough she is becoming more obedient. They don't mind when I turn off the TV as much as they did at first because now they have learned that it means they get to play games and read books with Mommy.
When I first started this I never thought the changes would be so quick. My house still has much room for improvement, but I have hope I can accomplish it. I almost think I should have taken some before and after pictures to post. Maybe I will for a future project. But with each day being goal oriented I get so much more done, and I actually look forward to getting to tell my husband what I've accomplished when he gets home from work each night. I have also found that I no longer feel guilt over time spent relaxing with my husband watching a show or two because I actually feel we've both earned it (instead of sitting thinking about all the chores I should be doing instead). Living in a clean organized home keeps all of us much happier. I can't wait till each of my big projects have been accomplished. We'll be so much better prepared for this coming baby too.
In my house I've finally gotten laundry under control to the point that it is no longer a source of stress, and neither are the dishes. Imagine that! When I'm not wasting time on meaningless things I can get the regular chores done each day with ease. And I've even tackled some major projects that have intimidated me and I'd been putting off. I reorganized my daughter's closet. I scrubbed the Kitchen floor. My living room is mostly clean on a regular basis, so tidying and vacuuming are no longer intimidating chores either. I've found I am so much happier when at least one major room is clean every day.
Being able to spend more time with my children has also payed off. My daughter is slowly becoming better behaved, and bed time has become much easier. I've started having her say, "Yes, Ma'am" whenever I ask her to do something, and remarkably enough she is becoming more obedient. They don't mind when I turn off the TV as much as they did at first because now they have learned that it means they get to play games and read books with Mommy.
When I first started this I never thought the changes would be so quick. My house still has much room for improvement, but I have hope I can accomplish it. I almost think I should have taken some before and after pictures to post. Maybe I will for a future project. But with each day being goal oriented I get so much more done, and I actually look forward to getting to tell my husband what I've accomplished when he gets home from work each night. I have also found that I no longer feel guilt over time spent relaxing with my husband watching a show or two because I actually feel we've both earned it (instead of sitting thinking about all the chores I should be doing instead). Living in a clean organized home keeps all of us much happier. I can't wait till each of my big projects have been accomplished. We'll be so much better prepared for this coming baby too.
Friday, January 4, 2013
New Year's Resolutions - How to make them stick
This time of year people have a tendency to reflect on the previous year, and make goals for how they want to be or do better this year. I had done much of this reflecting throughout December as you know from my previous posts. I started reading a self help book called The Compound Effect. Someone had recommended it to me and challenged me to read it. At first I just thought, "One more self-help book to read and I'll be sitting reading rather than doing." I've never really believed in self help books and I often don't believe in new-year's resolutions either. It's just one one more thing to try and then feel worse about yourself when you fail. And you will fail because you're all excited now but once that excitement wears off you will slowly stop doing whatever was necessary to make the changes permanent. Well, The Compound Effect actually acknowledges this flaw and talks about how to get past it and why it happens. Essentially you have to make small permanent changes rather than huge ones that are bound to only be temporary because you get burnt out.
The book has a website with free handouts that go with it and I printed one off and plan to use it regularly. You set goals for how many times you want to do a certain thing within a week. Say, the laundry, then each day that you do it you check it off and at the end of the week you see how close you came to achieving your goals. I ended up filling the whole thing with things I want to make regular habits in my life, and I have it displayed on my refrigerator. Then I will collect them over time in a notebook to be able to compare my progress over time. My husband noticed it yesterday and thought it was great. He thought that the fact that he can see the work I am doing would help to keep me accountable and also give me credit for achieving my goals. Some of my goals are basic things I need to do daily. . . Drink enough water, take my vitamins. . . yes I sometimes forget these things, but they are important so they are on the chart, other things are chores I need to do more often. I think about the only chores that aren't on the chart are trash and dishes. Other things include reading with my children and helping my daughter write her name. At first I was afraid I was putting too many things on the chart and I would be too overwhelmed by them, but some are things to be done once a week and others are more often and then others are daily. So some of them once I do them I can ignore them the rest of the week. And the daily ones are actually so basic it is kind of fun to get to check them off every day, so even on my bad days I can at least do them and get to check off something. The best thing, I think, is that for a stay at home mom it gives me that structure and focus that my life has been lacking ever since becoming a stay at home mom.
So I guess the point of this post is that if you want to make your goals and resolutions stick, I highly recommend this book, and using all the free handouts along the way as you read it. Just reading a book IS NOT going to change your life. DOING the things in the book will. I can't wait till a year from not when my notebook is starting to have something substantial in it I can look back and visibly see the progress I have made and the better mother, wife, and person I have become as a result.
The book has a website with free handouts that go with it and I printed one off and plan to use it regularly. You set goals for how many times you want to do a certain thing within a week. Say, the laundry, then each day that you do it you check it off and at the end of the week you see how close you came to achieving your goals. I ended up filling the whole thing with things I want to make regular habits in my life, and I have it displayed on my refrigerator. Then I will collect them over time in a notebook to be able to compare my progress over time. My husband noticed it yesterday and thought it was great. He thought that the fact that he can see the work I am doing would help to keep me accountable and also give me credit for achieving my goals. Some of my goals are basic things I need to do daily. . . Drink enough water, take my vitamins. . . yes I sometimes forget these things, but they are important so they are on the chart, other things are chores I need to do more often. I think about the only chores that aren't on the chart are trash and dishes. Other things include reading with my children and helping my daughter write her name. At first I was afraid I was putting too many things on the chart and I would be too overwhelmed by them, but some are things to be done once a week and others are more often and then others are daily. So some of them once I do them I can ignore them the rest of the week. And the daily ones are actually so basic it is kind of fun to get to check them off every day, so even on my bad days I can at least do them and get to check off something. The best thing, I think, is that for a stay at home mom it gives me that structure and focus that my life has been lacking ever since becoming a stay at home mom.
So I guess the point of this post is that if you want to make your goals and resolutions stick, I highly recommend this book, and using all the free handouts along the way as you read it. Just reading a book IS NOT going to change your life. DOING the things in the book will. I can't wait till a year from not when my notebook is starting to have something substantial in it I can look back and visibly see the progress I have made and the better mother, wife, and person I have become as a result.
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