I feel ashamed to admit it, but I had a complete relapse yesterday. I spent the morning in Facebook Land, and when my husband was getting ready for work he asked if he should take the computer with him. He asked two or three times and each time I avoided giving him a straight answer. I remained glued to the laptop the rest of the day because he got distracted and was in a hurry and I didn't pack it up for him to take, so he left it home with me. I did a thing or two that was good on the computer, but more importantly I didn't do much that was productive for my home. I take full responsibility, I could have just packed it up and had it ready for my husband to take with him, but I didn't. I chose to keep it home. I chose to continue spending my time on things what didn't matter as much as my own home and family. I chose Not to clean the bathrooms. I chose to eat snacks rather than cook a real dinner. I chose to keep reading stuff online rather than take the nap my exhausted pregnant body needed. I chose not to vacuum even though the living room needed it.
I am still stuck on step one. I think that rather than think I can find the resources I need to help me overcome this online, I need to actually attend the addiction recovery class. This might come as a "well, duh!" to some of you out there, seeing as how the computer is the very thing I am addicted to. But I just made the realization that it really is possible for me to go and I think I am to the point that my husband will support me in this. He would have thought me crazy before I started this blog. I think I've gotten to the point that I've made as much progress as I can make with only my husband's help and support. I need to obtain a physical copy of the ARP book so I can access it and work on my problems without needing to get online. Well, I'll start the class next week, and go from there. Then maybe I'll have something worthwhile to write here. Hopefully when I take the class I can make better progress to tell you about.
have loved reading your blog this morning. we have way too many things in common ;P Have you tried flylady.net ? she's got a lot of really good ideas and attitude changers. when I work the program it makes a big difference. and she has several books too so it's not like you would have to do it all online either.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't heard of that. Thanks for the recommendation. I'll look into it.
DeleteHey Camilla, Thank you for this post. I was doing well with my own addiction and then became sick. So, I have been in bed a lot but now back on the computer....like all day. I have kids that need me and a house that is starting to fall apart again. Today i still feel really yucky but going to force myself up. I may be sick but I still can choose to be on the computer or not... thank you for your blog!!! :)
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