My First Breakthrough

With Christmas coming I was reflecting on my memories of Christmas growing up and what my favorite things were that I might want to pass on to my children.  My oldest is now three and though she might not remember this Christmas forever she will remember it next year. Growing up my mom was also addicted to slothfulness, it took a different form, but was the same basic concept. She is also a hoarder. So my favorite Christmas memories are of singing carols in the car while we drove around to look at Christmas lights. I realized this was because our house was never clean, so the memories of home were less pleasant than those of driving around in the car. I want it to be different for my children.

I wanted to cook a nice dinner for Christmas Eve, then relax and enjoy the presents on Christmas Day. I looked around my house and knew it was no where near being in shape for the dream Christmas I wanted to give my daughter. The kitchen counters were dirty and full of stuff and in no way prepared for the big meal and my first ever turkey. The living room was such a mess I couldn't vacuum without doing some major tidying first, and of course there was the ever present laundry and dishes.  My husband was getting ready for work and I was talking to him about it and thinking about the fact I could never get all this done in time for Christmas . . . at least not if I spend the entire time he is at work on the computer playing facebook games and reading blogs. I knew if the laptop was here I would not be able to resist it, like an alcoholic ready to work on overcoming his addiction but living at a winery or working at a bar. My husband offered to take the laptop with him.  I took him up on it, and at one point before he left I was even thinking of taking it all back and keeping the laptop home. But I knew it was the only way I would be able to get the house ready in time for Christmas.

It was great! I started on laundry right away. While the laundry was soaking and washing I tidied the living room and even got it vacuumed.  Typically while I do laundry I'll be on the computer too, and I even found myself automatically walking to where the computer typically is when I was done with a step of a chore. But without the computer there, I alternated with other chores instead.  I got half my kitchen counter cleared off and cleaned, and finished two loads of laundry. My children were still watching TV, but they were also watching me work. They would leave the TV to come see what mommy was doing, and sometimes even to "help" with my chores.

That night my mother called and we talked for a while about our addiction to slothfulness. She went to an addiction recovery class at the encouragement of  my sister, and felt so weird and out of place.  She does cross stitch and watches Korean dramas all day rather than working and taking care of her house. When other people in the group said they were there for their addiction to drugs or alcohol she felt silly. I explained to her that for us it is every bit as real and difficult to overcome as any other addiction, and maybe harder, because the things we are doing aren't in and of themselves BAD.  I have actually helped other people on Facebook. She has made some beautiful gifts with her cross stitch. It's when these things take priority over our regular lives that it becomes damaging. My conversation with my mother helped solidify my resolve to overcome this and make my family my priority.

The next day I decided to start this blog. In the morning I got on, set it up, and wrote my first entry.   Then I put the laptop in it's case and got to work. Another load of laundry, the other half of the kitchen counter, the stove, and oven, and around 4pm I wasn't sure what to do next. Which is usually when, even on a motivated day, I would turn to my computer addiction. Instead I took the kids out for some fresh air. They played in the play area by our apartment, then we went to the store for just the handful of things we were running low on. It felt great! I got all that work done and had time to enjoy some fresh air.

I will continue to have my husband take the laptop with him when he leaves for his day job, but even with that, I will be limiting my time to just what it takes to write this blog.  I check Facebook from my phone now, since it cannot access the games, plus the tiny phone keyboard is such a bother I never stay on for very long. I hope my journey can help the others out there who like me have trouble staying motivated, or just wasting time on things that don't matter as much as our own families and homes. We shouldn't cut out our hobbies completely. They DO enrich our lives and keep us sane.  But we NEED to place limits on them so we don't become slothful.