This time of year people have a tendency to reflect on the previous year, and make goals for how they want to be or do better this year. I had done much of this reflecting throughout December as you know from my previous posts. I started reading a self help book called The Compound Effect. Someone had recommended it to me and challenged me to read it. At first I just thought, "One more self-help book to read and I'll be sitting reading rather than doing." I've never really believed in self help books and I often don't believe in new-year's resolutions either. It's just one one more thing to try and then feel worse about yourself when you fail. And you will fail because you're all excited now but once that excitement wears off you will slowly stop doing whatever was necessary to make the changes permanent. Well, The Compound Effect actually acknowledges this flaw and talks about how to get past it and why it happens. Essentially you have to make small permanent changes rather than huge ones that are bound to only be temporary because you get burnt out.
The book has a website with free handouts that go with it and I printed one off and plan to use it regularly. You set goals for how many times you want to do a certain thing within a week. Say, the laundry, then each day that you do it you check it off and at the end of the week you see how close you came to achieving your goals. I ended up filling the whole thing with things I want to make regular habits in my life, and I have it displayed on my refrigerator. Then I will collect them over time in a notebook to be able to compare my progress over time. My husband noticed it yesterday and thought it was great. He thought that the fact that he can see the work I am doing would help to keep me accountable and also give me credit for achieving my goals. Some of my goals are basic things I need to do daily. . . Drink enough water, take my vitamins. . . yes I sometimes forget these things, but they are important so they are on the chart, other things are chores I need to do more often. I think about the only chores that aren't on the chart are trash and dishes. Other things include reading with my children and helping my daughter write her name. At first I was afraid I was putting too many things on the chart and I would be too overwhelmed by them, but some are things to be done once a week and others are more often and then others are daily. So some of them once I do them I can ignore them the rest of the week. And the daily ones are actually so basic it is kind of fun to get to check them off every day, so even on my bad days I can at least do them and get to check off something. The best thing, I think, is that for a stay at home mom it gives me that structure and focus that my life has been lacking ever since becoming a stay at home mom.
So I guess the point of this post is that if you want to make your goals and resolutions stick, I highly recommend this book, and using all the free handouts along the way as you read it. Just reading a book IS NOT going to change your life. DOING the things in the book will. I can't wait till a year from not when my notebook is starting to have something substantial in it I can look back and visibly see the progress I have made and the better mother, wife, and person I have become as a result.
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